2:23 pm - Tue, Sep 16, 2014

I am so angry I could punch a donkey. So many fucking donkeys will lose their lives.

4:26 pm - Mon, Sep 15, 2014
168,050 notes
3:42 pm
8 notes

Ohhhhhh. Apparently I just have that look. This explains so much. Douchebag.

7:22 am
Q: But you didn't answer the question.... do you like your butthole licked?
Anonymous

Right, sorry - got distracted.

I dunno, I’ve never tried it.

Thank you for your repeated question.

7:18 am
55,021 notes

red3blog:

pardonmewhileipanic:

notcuddles:

nesft:

Crow: CROW YES!

It’s actually impossible to measure how many fucks a corvid give because there is no device sensitive enough to register such a tiny amount.

science/animal side of tumblr… explain to me the birb thing

Tail Pulling is a behavior noted in many corvids. The practical application is to create a distraction that will allow the birb to make off with the target’s food. Imagine being in the lunch room and a large fellow has a Twinkie you covet. You can’t just take it from him because he’ll defend his Twinkie. But if you thwap him on the back of his neck and then dash around to snag the Twinkie while he investigates, you stand a decent chance of enjoying spongey goodness. This is basically that in birb form.

Except corvids don’t only do this as a distraction. Sometimes they seem to just being doing it to mess with other animals/birbs. But to use my lunch room analogy, there are times you might thwap someone sneakily on the back of the neck just for amusement. Primates exhibit behavior that appears to be just be annoying other animals for amusement. Given how intelligent crows are, its not unlikely that this is a manifestation of an innate desire to just fuck with someone else for the fun of it. Such as this from the link above:

crow-actual I assume these are basically home videos of you as a child. And a teenager. And last Tuesday.

(Source: yinqors, via atmaesthetic)

8:26 pm - Sun, Sep 14, 2014
65,206 notes

I love the way girls fuck. I love how they try so hard to be quiet, but when the right spot is stroked at exactly the right time, they can’t help but let a moan escape. I love how around family they’re so sweet and innocent, but in the bedroom they bite and moan like the bad girl they are. I love how she feels against me, and I love to hear how I feel against her. I love when our bodies combine as one and I can feel her soul intertwine with mine. I love the taste of her, I love her scent. I love the love scars she gives me. I love the way we make love.

(Source: cardmecameron, via hallamark)

7:07 pm
10 notes
And a completely different look from last night. This is where all those drunk posts came from.

And a completely different look from last night. This is where all those drunk posts came from.

6:37 pm
3 notes
Fading light, fading hangover, and Texas charm.

Fading light, fading hangover, and Texas charm.

10:51 am
33 notes
Q: Do you like your butthole licked?
Anonymous

You know, I was telling my brother and a couple of my friends about this ask, and every single one of them asked “is it from @freexcitizen?”

And I mean, I don’t even follow this person, nor does he follow me, but apparently he’s some legendary butthole licker, so renowned that his name is just automatically what people associate with butthole licking.

I mean, that’s an accomplishment. Congrats, sir.

10:45 am
2 notes

Oh my fucking god I’m reading my posts and texts from last night. Oh my god.

I think I might have done tequila shots with my boss.

Fuck.

7:08 pm - Sat, Sep 13, 2014
3 notes

The bas in this truck is harder than half the vibrsti t s I’ve used.

7:01 pm
1 note

Did y’all know they free pour drinks in the ataes mmm? Not one of this meausrez shot shit from n canad.

1:06 pm
6 notes
medic278 tickets to every pre - season and regular season home game, baby. Go stars!

medic278 tickets to every pre - season and regular season home game, baby. Go stars!

1:06 pm
2,547 notes
medic278:


the nhl regular season begins october 8th.


Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

carnalincarnate
alpacamedic
letskeepthisasecret-babe
faith-and-trust

medic278:

the nhl regular season begins october 8th.

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! carnalincarnate alpacamedic letskeepthisasecret-babe faith-and-trust

(Source: theyslayedthedragon)

12:19 pm
10 notes

It’s 69 degrees in south Texas

swollton:

And it feels amazing

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